Life Doesn’t Get Better By Chance, It Gets Better By Change

We are creatures of habit. We do the same things, go to the same places, and stay inside our zone – because we are used to it and comfortable. We are scared of the unknown. So, we stick to our routine hoping one day we will get a lucky break and our lives will change to how we want them. The fairy godmother will get round to us one day…. Won’t she?

Reality being, it is not going to happen. Life does not get better by chance; it gets better by change.

37 years have zoomed past me and I’m not willing to let another 37 years go by without a change of direction. I want to be able to confidently look back and know I consciously made small changes to re direct my path to my “dream life”

I have started to make changes already:









I have learnt some lessons along the way- Here is some brutal advice (You have been warned)

Identify your root motivations.

What are you not liking about your life at the moment? BE HONEST. Is it you are drowning in secret debt? Do you HATE your job? Do you hate where you are living?

It doesn’t really matter why you want a change. The level of hatred matters. If you want a change because “It would be nice” then change won’t happen. Change won’t happen because you aren’t hungry enough for change. You have to be so hungry that you’d happily eat Tofu. ( As much as I try, I just can’t take to it.)

Stop consuming toxic crap.

You know that saying “you are what you eat?” It’s more like “you are what you consume,” and it goes so far beyond just what you’re putting in your mouth.

Everything you put around you is conditioning you. The people you spend time with, the things you read, the place you work, the habits you sustain, and yes, of course, what you eat and drink. You are moulding yourself into the person you will become with each of these actions, every single day.

If your fate is your character, then your habits are your destiny.

Stop eating unhealthy foods and expecting to feel good. Stop sitting around your house scrolling on your phone and expecting to be productive and accomplished. Stop hanging out with negative, draining people and expecting to feel positive and fulfilled. Stop drinking yourself into an oblivion every weekend and wondering why you’re stuck in life. It’s not a mystery. Pretending it is keeps you in denial.

Stop waiting until you “feel like it.”

A lot of people will say that they feel like they need to “take some time and heal” before they get back out and start living their lives again. This is true if your intention is to take some time to yourself to reflect.

However, it is also a way that people avoid doing what they want and need to do. Do you know how you “heal” yourself? You start behaving differently. You start thinking differently. That is how you eradicate the life that you no longer want to live – by building a new one.

I’ve been guilty of using this phrase. My husband and I went through a very traumatic time 6 years ago. I did take time to genuinely heal, but I also took extra because I liked the excuse of having an easier time.  The phrase is popping it’s head up again especially when it comes to social media. I have turned into The Queen of excuses. “I’m not in the mood.” I’ll do it when I feel better, so I’m not as glum”  


Stop waiting until every wound is healed before you get back up and start again. It is the doing that changes you, not idling.

Do tactile things.

Making sure you do tactile things isn’t a fun little suggestion for your Saturday afternoon, it’s how you make sure you’re differentiating actually creating a life you want and creating the image of a life you want. If you want a better life in 10 years, make sure you’re not just making one that looks good online. It needs to FEEL good.

Make enough time each day to do something other than type and scroll. Read a book (a print copy). Go outside. Build or craft something. Cook. Do anything that requires you to experience a range of sensations. It’s not that any one of these things will magically transform you (though, of course, they can). It’s that staying connected to your real life keeps you aware of how things feel, not just how they look.

 Stop being “busy.”

People either make themselves super busy, or pretend to be super busy, and they do both for the same reason: avoidance. They are either trying to avoid themselves, or avoid other people. Both lead to nothing.

Schedule your hours mindfully. Work better, but less. Leave hours open for people you care about. Leave hours open for yourself. Create a life that overwhelms you with peace, not mindless chatter.

Make daily decisions for your long-term goals, not short-term desires.

Most people live within a few hours long mental bandwidth. This is to say, they make choices based on their immediate desires, fears and ideas.

When you choose what you want for lunch, you think: “What am I in the mood for?” not “What will give me energy and make me feel good not only now, but in a few hours, and in a few days, and in a few years?” It is so easy for fleeting feelings to override logic, but we pay for it in the end. We assume we’ll “get healthy one day,” or “start saving one day,” and then one day comes and we realize that all of the little daily habits we have compiled have created the opposite of what we said we wanted.

We forget that “someday” is today, and the future is created right now.

Choose goals with your mortality in mind.

If you don’t know what to choose or what to do, zoom out of your current situation and imagine looking back at your life after you’re dead. Hell, imagine looking at your life even just 10 years from now. What would you wish you had done today? Would you be happy that you wasted so many hours shopping for clothes, watching TV, wondering what you should do with your life? Will you be happy that your greatest accomplishment was your appearance, or being someone who intimidates others?

Or will you wish that you had let go and done something meaningful – something you felt called to? Will you be happy that you wrote music, that you spent time outdoors, that you told the people you love that you love them, that you had long, lingering meals with them, and supported them, and shared, and looked at your demons and dissolved them by choosing otherwise?

Wake up and ask yourself every day: “What can I do today that will change my life forever?”

Every single day, you have the potential to change your life forever.

Every day is an opportunity, a portal, to do something that will have an irrevocable impact on your life.

So many of us waste that on doing something that pacifies fear.

Ask yourself this every day, and then start making a list of what you could possibly do in the coming hours that would change everything, always. The answers will surprise you. 

I’m looking forward to hearing your list! 

Here is some extra help…….if you need some

  1. Buy a new water bottle- Every girl knows you drink more when you have a new water bottle
  2. Rheal Superfoods | As Seen On BBC Dragons’ Den – I added this to my routine, when I started making changes. I couldn’t recommend it enough. It’s not only aided my health but my mental health too.
  3. Invest in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody will. You CAN make changes and you ARE worth it.

15 thoughts on “Life Doesn’t Get Better By Chance, It Gets Better By Change

  1. This post is incredibly good and full of wisdom and value. Ther are a lot of Start and Stops I need to do in my life. But change…that dreaded word…CHANGE! I am such a creature of habit and will find I will only change if forced. This is not a good look for me as I want to be able to change and adjust as needed. But is it not comfortable. I recently heard from a blog post and from my mentor, get comfortable with being uncomfortable. That is way too deep for me, but it is so true if I really want to succeed. I ramble, but I really do appreciate this post! Have a great week!

  2. Change is the catalyst for growth in all areas of life. And you say it so well!! The unwillingness to change creates a vacuum of hopelessness. Yet the courage to embrace change is the beginning of a new life!!! Love this post!!

  3. Yes! This is so true: “Life Doesn’t Get Better By Chance; it Gets Better By Change.” Change is so hard for people; most would rather do the same things over and over, hoping for a miracle to change their lives. Doing what you are doing is incredible, takes a lot of effort, and should be celebrated. It is hard to eat right and exercise. I struggle with getting my 2L of water every day and avoiding those delicious sugary snacks that are always in the break room at work. Putting your health and your dreams at the forefront, changing the things in your life that you want to, to make space for a better future takes a lot of effort, and it’s not once and done, it’s a continuous effort to make the right choices and steps forward and every step on this new path should be celebrated!

  4. Sarah, Your insights on breaking out of our comfort zones and embracing change are truly eye-opening. It’s easy to get stuck in routines and fear the unknown, but as you’ve highlighted, life doesn’t improve by chance—it improves by change. Your advice on identifying motivations, consuming positively, and taking action resonates deeply. Making daily decisions aligned with long-term goals is crucial, and your reminder to choose goals with mortality in mind is especially powerful. Thank you for sharing these thought-provoking reflections and practical tips for living a more fulfilling life. Thanks, Atif
    Atif Perwiz recently posted…Leadership and Coaching part 2 – That Zoom call with Alex Jefferys………….My Profile

  5. I hear ya on the Tofu, Sarah – but I had to endure for the few years I was living with a vegetarian. All I can say is, “Yuck!”, lol. And my way of staying away from the toxic crap is with community. Communities of like-minded will help me get on my way.

    I like your list. I make lists daily and then I focus on those things that will help move my business forward – first. My lists help me to track, plan, communicate and help others reach their goals.
    Robert Klein recently posted…Con EdMy Profile

  6. Hi, Sarah!
    I like how your To-Do List includes things that aren’t urgent, but important for what you will enjoy.
    What would be on my list? You’ve inspired me to make one that isn’t about what must be done but what I’d like to do each week. It’s important not to put our lives on hold while we start our business. Our life is what we’re living now.
    Your post is full of great advice and is thought-provoking. I especially like the idea of doing tactile things. I am building cross-stitch and reading for fun into my routine this week. My brother-in-law gave me one of his favorite books for Christmas I haven’t even begun. The time is there; I need to include what I enjoy.
    I appreciate this post. Thank you, Sarah!

  7. Hi Sarah,
    You totally pin pointed it with this post! I, like I’m sure many others, are very guilty of many of these things. The one that stood out the most for me was “stop waiting until you feel like it!”

    When my kids were much younger and I had more responsibilities to attend to with them being younger. My husband had said to me when he saw me running crazy with my kids and getting stressed out. He said then, “don’t do it until you feel like it.” He obviously was talking more about the things that weren’t as important, but I literally took that to heart, and started acting on it with everything…. It was good at the time he told me that, but I continued on since then thinking that way with everything. Totally not good! Don’t get me wrong, I take care of my stuff. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have made it this far. The point is I made that a bad habit, and it affects me in my business sometimes that I have to remind myself that I can’t do that anymore.

    You’re totally right though about creating new and better habits in your life, and start to take away all the bad ones so you can do better in your business and life.

    Thank you fir this reminder! Great post you put out. I look forward to the next one. Thanks!

    Meredith Moore recently posted…Building Trust and Interest: The Power of Free & Valuable Content in Email MarketingMy Profile

  8. Wow, you kinda slapped me around a little bit this week! (But in a good way, I promise). I feel kinda called-out on my “crap,” but I have a feeling that maybe I needed to be. 🙂 I appreciate that about you.
    Um… #2… the consuming toxic crap. Raise your hand if you struggle here! <> I do love my sugar and sugary things… it’s a curse. But your words just kick me in the pants and remind me, yet again, to think a little more before doing.
    I really loved your message this week, and as always, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Looking forward to next week!

  9. Hi Lauren,
    What an eye-opener you have written. So many wise words and so well put. There’s something for everyone in there. Now we have no excuse but to change for the better. Have you ever considered a career in counseling? Here’s a thought…you could bottle these thoughts and sell them online – I reckon you’d make a fortune.
    Andy Jacobs recently posted…Missing Post (But Making Good Now!)My Profile

  10. This is a beautiful and inspiring post. I loved it. It reminds me of the kind of work I’ve done, so thank you.

    ‘Life does not get better by chance; it gets better by change.’ is a beautiful quote from a great motivational speaker, Jim Rohn.
    And a great quote to live by.

    Your to-do list is great. it’s simple and manageable but very powerful.

    Understanding the root motivation of why we do what we do is key to making change and as you said, you gotta be hungry.
    You probably know another great motivational speaker, Les Brown. He has a great talk,
    ’titled, You Gotta Be Hungry.

    I loved all the ’stop consuming, and stop waiting and it reminded me of a US comedian back in the day, Bob Newhart. He plays a therapist and his stock answer for whatever his client’s issue is “Stop it” or “Just Stop it” – It’s very funny and true. That’s all we have to do, but that’s the hardest part unless we really want to change.
    Stop It – Bob Newhart

    Yes, I absolutely agree with your ‘brutal advice’ and the extra help!!

    I appreciated very much the ‘Choose goals with your mortality in mind’,
    It reminded me of another quote, by Oliver Wendell Holmes. 
    He said, “Most of us go to our graves with our music still inside us”

    I think about that a lot, and it is a driving motivation for what I do now.

    Thank you

    1. This is the best comment so far! Thank you Eleanor. I’m looking forward to watching the Ted Talk tonight. Thank you very much for sharing.

  11. This is one hard hitting post!! Thanks for being so brutally to the point! I am going to start using your tag “like doesn’t get better by chance it gets better by change” with my grandchildren… its an important life lessonthay everyone should lear.

    The irony though, is that the cange has to be constant! You can’t expect to change one thing and leav it at that!

    Thanks again for ths post I found it very helpful.

  12. Hi Sarah,
    Love love love this weeks blog!
    It’s always been one of the best traits I believe I have: I love change!
    When we moved here to Ottawa a few years back, friends who were helping us out asked me: “Marc, being the Army brat & afterwards being in the Army, how many times does this move make?” – I thought about it for a bit of time, went over the different moves in my head – even smiling sometimes reliving the memories – and told her: “22 times…”
    So like you said, either you embrace change or it will eat you up and spit whatever is left out on the road…
    The other thing to say is that sometimes, small changes can bring about great returns – I love the waking up 10 minutes earlier part!
    Wishing you all the best!

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