So here’s the thing… somewhere between working full time, being Ava’s mum, and teaching other mums how to make money online, I seem to have misplaced me.
Like… she’s gone. Vanished. No note. No forwarding address.
I spend all my time worrying about everything. And I mean everything. The kind of worrying that’s so committed, I even do it in my sleep. Dreams about things that could go wrong? Oh yes, my subconscious is out here doing night shifts.
I used to be fun. I could walk into a room, make friends in ten minutes, have everyone laughing, and leave with at least one new “We’re going to be besties forever!” contact in my phone. Now? I can give you a detailed TED Talk on Ava’s bedtime routine, how it’s evolving as she grows, what she’s eaten today, and how I’m getting all emotional about her starting her last year of primary school. Honestly, I have no other chat. Zero. Zilch.
Friends? Sure, I’m friendly with loads of people. But I don’t have that one person I can phone, rant to, and say, “Right, wine or tequila?” No ride-or-die, no partner in crime. My husband is amazing, my siblings are the best — but you know what I mean… there’s something about that friend who chooses you.
Hobbies? Passions? Please. I can’t even remember the last time I did something purely because it lit me up. No clubs. No gym. No “thing.”
So… I’m taking matters into my own hands.
Enter: My “40 Things to Do Before I’m 40” List.
This isn’t just about ticking boxes — it’s about feeding my soul, shaking off the dust, and bringing the spark back. I’ll still be working full time and showing mums how to make money online (because let’s be real, the bills still exist), but I need something for me. Something that doesn’t revolve around laundry, dinner, and checking my email for the millionth time.
And here’s where my old blog post comes back to haunt me — the one I called “It’s Not the Cash, It’s the Dash.”
If you’ve forgotten (or were busy binge-watching Netflix instead of reading my pearls of wisdom), here’s the gist: on your gravestone, there’s your birth year, your final year, and that little dash in between. That dash? That’s your life. Everything you did, everyone you loved, every ridiculous story you told, every “oh my god remember when we…?” moment.
And mine? Well, right now it’s looking a bit like “Work. Worry. Repeat.”
That’s not the legacy I’m aiming for.
So I’m going for it. I want the best dash ever. The kind of dash that says: She lived. She laughed. She had a donner kebab at 2am and didn’t regret it.
The list includes everything from eating said kebab guilt-free, to spending a night in a treehouse, to swimming in the sea at sunrise. Big stuff, small stuff, “Oh my god I can’t believe I did that” stuff. And I’m documenting it all on TikTok and Facebook so anyone else who feels like they’ve lost themselves can join in.
Because life’s too short to have a boring dash.
So this is Month 1 of 18. Let’s see where this goes.
And seriously — should I start with the donner kebab or the treehouse?
Here is the list! Let me know what you think or what would be on your list x
40 Things to Do Before I’m 40
- Get into size 12 clothes
- Go see the tulips in Amsterdam 🌷
- Take part in a fitness challenge
- Learn to cook one fancy signature dish I’m proud of
- Eat a donner kebab (with zero guilt)
- Take a spa day and do nothing
- Upgrade my skincare routine and stick to it
- Do a professional photo shoot (my future self will thank me)
- Take a spontaneous weekend away with no itinerary
- Have afternoon tea somewhere fancy ☕🍰
- Go to a comedy show and laugh until my cheeks hurt
- Go to a music festival 🎶
- Swim in the sea at sunrise 🌊
- Join a club (book club, running club… or wine club)
- Read 5 books (and actually finish them!)
- Make a vision board for the next 10 years
- Have a “Yes Day”
- Celebrate my 40th birthday in a way that truly suits me
- Learn how to change a tyre
- Watch the Northern Lights ✨
- Sleep Under The Stars
- Write a letter to my future self
- Spend a night in a quirky or unusual place (treehouse, lighthouse, or tiny home)
- Learn how to make the perfect cocktail 🍸
- Try paddleboarding or kayaking
- Visit a new country I’ve never been to
- Go to the theatre for a West End show
- Plant a tree (and name it!)
- Have a picnic somewhere beautiful
- Watch the sunrise and sunset in the same day
- Host a themed dinner party
- Declutter my wardrobe and only keep things I love
- Try a food I’ve never eaten before
- Go for a digital detox weekend 📵
- Get another Tattoo
- Spend a whole day exploring my own city like a tourist
- Learn basic self-defence
- Send a handwritten letter to someone special
- Splurge on something I’ve always wanted (without feeling guilty)
- Create a photo album or scrapbook of the whole journey 📖
Hi Sarah,
Thanks for making me cry, laugh and look in the mirror. I’ve got 21 months until I hit 60 and your blog hit hard.
Yes, I’ve done quite a lot of things in my life. Many “wow, I did that” moments in fact. But like you, I think I’ve put “me” aside in getting my businesses up and running.
I think your list is precious (and doable) but it reminds us that the dash we’ll have on that tombstone means to do something NOW for ourselves. It might even get us closer to our goals!
Thanks for the reminder and mostly the smile I had once I finished reading your blog!
Thank you for your kind comment Marc. I’m really pleased it made you smile. I’m looking forward to putting me first sometimes and getting “me” back on track and hopefully inspire others to do the same. x
I can appreciate your thinking here. I remember your blog post about the dash. I remember that it struck a cord for many of us in the group. I really like your list. It’s original and creative and sounds like fun. Maybe I should do the same because my life is kind of boring. I’m taking care of a dog I’ve lived with for the last 12 years. I feel like I’m taking care of her in a nursing home, but that’s OK cause I love her. Of course my Boston Terrier Maso is a companion to both of us, the old dog and the old girl, me. It’s peaceful and companionable.
Hi Sarah – You haven’t lost you at all as is evident from this post. You may have misplaced yourself a little, or reinvented yourself some, but you are certainly the same wonderful person that I’ve gotten to know over the past few years. This one made me crack up It has motivated me to create my own list the things that I want to do. Now, I’m a little bit older than you, but the sentiment remains the same. In order to find ourselves, or better yet, to know ourselves, we must be ready to experience and let life happen. But sometimes we need go seek out life. It sounds like that’s what you are doing. You already live a very full life, and I look forward to hearing how your life expands beyond the greatness that it already is. Cheers to you, my friend!
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Hey Sarah, This was a great idea! It’s so easy to lose ourselves in work, family, and responsibilities. I love how you’re taking charge to find you again, not just checking off goals but truly sparking joy and adventure in life.
That “dash” idea is such a powerful reminder that life’s about more than just surviving; it’s about living fully — laughing, loving, and yes, enjoying a 2am donner kebab guilt-free. Your list feels like a breath of fresh air and inspiration for anyone stuck in the same routine.
Can’t wait to follow your journey! Here’s to rediscovering you and making the best dash ever. Cheers!
Meredith
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