Let’s be honest—parenting is basically like trying to herd cats in a windstorm. You start each day with the best intentions, determined to raise polite, grounded, and flourishing little humans. And then it happens. A tantrum over not feeding every single cow at the farm. A meltdown because you opened their yoghurt wrong (rookie mistake). Or the nightly showdown: “I’m not tired!” followed by them snoring louder than a chainsaw three minutes after you leave the room.
Proof that she did feed cows!
And if you’re anything like me, you’re probably sitting there thinking: Am I ruining their lives? Are they going to grow up needing therapy because I said no to letting her watch another YouTube video?
But here’s the thing—just when you’re convinced you’re raising the next Bond villain, they go and do something so wonderful it stops you in your tracks.
This week, my daughter Ava gave me one of those moments.
A Little Kindness in a Big World
We had some heartbreaking news at dinner one night: a girl in Ava’s class lost her dad unexpectedly. As a parent, just hearing it made my chest tighten. I asked Ava how she felt about it, hoping to gently guide her through processing this kind of loss. She replied… in the flattest, most matter-of-fact tone: “Yeah, it’s really sad.”
Cue my internal panic. What do you mean, “really sad”?! Where’s the emotion? Does my child even have feelings? Am I raising a sociopath?!
I spiraled for a good hour before bedtime, imagining future therapy sessions where Ava blames me for her lack of empathy.
But the universe, and a very kind teacher, had other plans. The next day, I got a call from school. Ava’s teacher told me she’d never taught a girl with such a big heart.
It turns out Ava had been by this girl’s side every single moment of the day—her bodyguard, her friend, her human tissue. She’d been making her gifts, guiding her through a “worry book,” and showing her pages of a little book titled “Happy, Confident Me” to help her smile. She even asked me if we could send food to the family to help them out.
I was speechless. And proud. And crying into my tea like a proper mum cliché.
For the Parents Who Think They’re Failing
If you’re reading this and wondering if you’re doing enough as a parent—this is your reminder that you’re crushing it. Yes, our kids drive us to scream into pillows. Yes, we’ve all hidden in the pantry or a cupboard for a minute’s peace. (Guilty.) But behind all the yoghurt tantrums and bedtime wars, they’re watching us. They’re learning compassion, resilience, and kindness from us—even when we think we’re barely keeping it together.
This Christmas, as the kids bounce off the walls from too many candy canes and lose their minds over the elf on the shelf, remind yourself: I am doing a great job. Hug them as much as they’ll let you (and sneak extra hugs while they’re distracted). The mental load of a mum at Christmas is huge, be kind to yourself
Because not everyone gets to see Christmas this year. Some families have empty chairs at the table, and some children won’t get to hug their parents again.
So let’s make this year extra special. Love a little harder. Laugh a little louder. And maybe, just maybe, let them feed one more cow.
You’re amazing. Your kids think so too, even when they’re screaming otherwise. Keep going, superhero.
Merry Christmas, from one yoghurt-opening, tantrum-dodging, cupboard-hiding parent to another. 🎄❤️
Helpful links
HERE is the book Ava uses when she needs to work through some feelings
Elf of the shelf Accessory packs
Wine advent calendar- for when you need a minute!
Sarah – What an amazing post and what a great reminder of not only what it’s like to be a parent, but what it’s like to be a parent of wonderful children. We do the best we can and hope that some of our inner kind soul sticks. Someone once told me that when your children stray, and they will, they will return if you have a foundation that is built on love, respect, kindness and a big heart. I cling to that promise every day. After reading your post, I even have more respect for you than I did before and that was a lot. You are raising a wonderful child. You were teaching her not only with words but with your actions. It does not surprise me to hear that your daughter was so kind to her friend. My heart breaks for those that are missing people around the table especially during the holiday season… or any season for that matter. As I enter into the season as a grandparent, I am still focused on my children and welcome being a grandparent as I have a little bit more wisdom and gray hair to pass on. That’s not to say I know it all for sure. Sarah, I admire you for how you serve your family and for those around you! Have a wonderful week, my friend!
What a beautiful comment, full of warmth and wisdom! Your words about building a foundation of love, respect, and kindness truly resonate. Wishing you and your family a joyful holiday season filled with love and togetherness!
That was certainly an endearing blog post, Sarah. My life choices never brought me to the point of being a parent. But I know a superhero when I see one and both my parents were just that. I’ll certainly remind my mother that she is amazing the next time we talk. She had often doubted the path of our upbringing but nothing but two superheros could have accomplished all that they did for all five of us kids.
And Merry Christmas to you – superhero!
Robert Klein recently posted…Aspect Ratios and Resolutions
Please do remind your mum of the incredible job she has/ is doing. 5 children must have been challenging at times but what a success!
Hi Sarah,
This was such a heartfelt and beautiful read. Parenting really does feel like chaos most days, but it’s moments like Ava’s kindness that remind us we’re doing better than we think. You should be so proud of her, and of yourself. Kids learn so much from what they see, and it’s clear Ava is growing up with a big heart and compassion because of you. Thank you for this reminder to give ourselves grace and to cherish the little moments. Wishing you and your family a very special Christmas!
Meredith
Meredith Moore recently posted…The Essential Tools and Apps for Running a Successful Affiliate Marketing Business
Thank you Meredith. I wish you a lovely family Christmas too!
Hi Sarah!
What a beautifully written and relatable post! You captured the chaos of parenting perfectly, and your stories about Ava brought a tear to my eye. It’s incredible how kids can surprise us with their kindness, even when we’re knee-deep in the daily struggles.
Your reminder to embrace the little moments and to be gentle with ourselves is so important, especially during the hectic holiday season. I know I often question if I’m doing enough, but hearing stories like Ava’s gives me hope and reassurance that our kids are picking up more than we realize.
Thank you for sharing this lovely message about parenting, empathy, and the magic of the season. Wishing you and your family a Merry Christmas filled with laughter and love!
Warm regards,
Ezequiel
Thank you. That is a really kind comment and much appreciated. I wish you a lovely family Christmas too
Hi Sarah,
Very inspiring post and you have a truly amazing child!
Reading your post caused me to think back to when I was raising my son, who is now 29 years old. I can’t even count how many times, days, months, and years I felt like a bad dad, and yet he was a good child, thoughtful towards others, and grew up to become a hard-working and caring man. We do the best we can and with a good heart, it works out in the end. You’re doing great!
Denny
Sarah,
Children do thing that will melt your heart. Sounds like you have one of those. Our son is now 25 and lives in the State of New Mexico. We are looking forward to his visit. Get in all the extra hugs now as talking on the telephone is just not the same. Keep it up Super Mom, and enjoy your journey.